Q and A: Being mean gets attention…what gives?

Q: Why is it that guys who I’m not into are so into me? It seems like the meaner you are to someone the more attention you get. How does this make any sense?

A: Rule of thumb, men want or will chase what they cannot have. It’s usually run by the ego. To rebuff a man outright can often lead him to chasing you even more—no joke! The challenge I see with women on this issue is that they are rarely BRUTALLY honest with the guy. Let me give you an example from one of my clients—she has this guy pursuing her aggressively and she is not into him at all. Instead of calling him and blatantly saying, “Buddy, I don’t find you attractive and you are definitely not my type,” she avoids his phone calls, runs away and sends him cold text messages. He kept on chasing her until I coached her to be brutally honest with him. What do you know? He stopped calling ASAP!


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