The tricky thing about womanizers is that they usually have their game down pat, which means it’s easy to get sucked in. Here are some of the subtle clues a guy has a case of commitment phobia. If he exhibits three or more of these, watch out.
1. All of His Exes Are “Crazy”
Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy — because what’s the common denominator here? Him. The dude’s either looney-bin glue, or he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place.
2. He Plans Ultra-Romantic Dates
A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if he onlytakes you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that he doesn’t want other women to spot him on a date. Next time he asks you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how he reacts.
3. He’s Hot and Cold on the Phone
He’ll text you 10 times in a night, then go MIA for days. He’ll chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the heck is going on? We’re going to be brutally honest: He’s mostly likely busy dating other women.
4. He Guilt-Trips You
It’s normal for a guy to be jonesing to sleep with you from day one. But this behavior is a red flag if he a) lays the pressure on thick, or b) tries to make you feel bad if you choose not to get physical — like by giving you a sob story about how worked up he is without the release of sex.
5. Stuff Is Missing from His Facebook Profile
Has he untagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? We smell a rat. A guy who’s leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.
6. His Buddies Act Distant
Even though a player’s bros may be friendly enough, they probably won’t ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don’t want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you’re not going to be around very long.
7. He Says You’re Soul Mates
Okay, we adore the idea of love at first sight — but too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a dude comes on super strong right off the bat (we’re talking the first couple of weeks), telling you things like that he’s starting to fall in love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling off his tongue so smoothly because he’s spoken them so many times before.
SOURCES: William July, Ph.D., Author of Confessions of an Ex-Bachelor and Jenn Berman, Psy.D., Relationship Expert for Cosmo Radio.